Come Home
by sakuraheartz
Summary: I remember I saw something blinking behind his vest. I know what it was. I've seen a lot of it during our trainings. I don't know if I did shout then. It was in my mind. But...things happened fast. I opened my mouth...I think I did. And then...boom.


**Come Home**

**Disclaime**r: All credits goes to Higuchi Tachibana-sensei. I just own the plot of the story.

**Inspirations**: Gakuen Alice 130 and "Come Home" by One Republic

I dedicate this story to everyone who supports me,  
who continuously sending me PMs and believe in me.  
And that includes you.

* * *

The strong wind peppered the roof and rattled the windows of the old farmhouse. I shivered slightly but I didn't do anything to ward off the outside chill. I lay in the same position as I did a few hours before; reading a diary which belongs to one of the person that I cherish the most.

I know I should have given this diary back to his wife, but I hadn't. I guess I didn't want to accept the fact that he's already gone. No, not yet. He was always there. He was my best friend. We shared everything together; the hardships in life, the struggles we went through when we went to the army together and wooing our first loves.

"...and I told Natsume that I'll make Hotaru my wife. Boy was he in for the surprise when I told him our wedding date during our usual hangouts at Koko's Bar. I could have sworn his eyes were almost the same shape as the billiard balls! I asked him to be my best man. Even though I knew he'd do it, I'm glad that he agreed immediately. I just wish that Natsume would confess his feelings to Mikan soon. Or else, he might lose her to one of those hormone-crazed men that always hovering around her. As her cousin, I want the best for Mikan...but I knew the only man for her is only Natsume. Everybody knows that, except for the two idiots..."

I smiled for the first time in days. Idiots, huh? I lifted my head and peered outside the window, staring blankly at the darkness outside. Maybe I really am an idiot; hiding myself away from the world after I've been discharged from the army. Feels like years...but it's only been a few weeks. I closed my eyes, but opened them quickly, unable to bear the scene playing behind my eyelids. No, it's not a nightmare. It was worse than that.

We were on a secret mission to spy on an enemy's headquarters. It had been going smoothly and we sensed nothing was amiss. It was until that fourth night when we were all resting in the make shift tent that my best friend spoke about his uneasiness. "I felt something is wrong," he said. "It's too...peaceful." I should have listened to him and warned the others but instead, I brushed him off and talked about his soon-to-be born baby. "According to the ultrasound, we're going to have a baby girl, Natsume. A baby girl. My baby girl." His face lightens and he talked animatedly whenever I touched that subject.

It was then when we heard rustling from the nearby bush. We immediately snatched our revolver from its case and get into our fighting position just like we did during practice. "Oh, it's just you. Don't scare us like that," he laughed nervously and lowered his weapon but I didn't. I focused my eyes on the person and let out a groan. It was that damn Kounji. He was our comrade but what made Persona to agree a person like him to join the team was beyond me. I'd never trust him. He was suspicious in many ways. He claimed that he had no recollection whatsoever before he joined the army. Granted that he's talented in terms of physical and one of the top five agents in the special force, I still don't trust him...and my instincts were rarely wrong.

I remember I saw something blinking behind his vest. I know what it was. I've seen a lot of it during our trainings. I don't know if I did shout then. It was in my mind. But...things happened fast. I opened my mouth...I think I did. And then...boom.

I couldn't feel anything. All I could see was that bright light and the ringing sound on my ears. When I woke up, I was in a hospital. That was when I realised that I couldn't feel my left leg. The doctor told me that I was hurt. They couldn't mend my left leg because it was blown up by the bomb. They told me that I was lucky I didn't even lose my whole leg. When I asked them about my best friend, what they did was they avert their eyes from mine and stared at the floor wordlessly. Again, I knew what they're doing. I've seen that look whenever we lost one of our comrades. There was no need for words...I just knew that he was...gone.

After a week, I was released from the hospital, or more accurately, I forced the doctor to sign for my leave. During my stay, Persona had talked to the doctor and they've agreed that I'm not fit to be in the army anymore. I was hurt...enough to get discharged and shipped home...but what pains me the most was not the physical pain that I'm experiencing. Rather, it was the loss of my best friend that I'm mourning. I finally remembered that last moment with him...and reflecting back to that time, it was torture. If only had he not been standing in front of me, if only I hadn't stand there at shock that I was unable to move, if only he didn't shield me from the impact of that bomb, then he would still be alive today. He would still be alive today...if it weren't for my own weakness.

It turns out Kounji was the enemy's secret spy. He was a suicide bomber. According to Persona, they had found secret documents with the enemy's seal hidden inside a secret compartment under his bed. Even if Person had apologized for his mistake in trusting Kounji, it won't change the fact that it's going to bring my best friend back.

I remember I went to his house and giving back all of his belongings to his wife...and also to apologize. I hadn't even told anyone that I was back in the country. I didn't even tell my family or Mikan about it. I went straight to his house, trying to ease this guilt...maybe just by a bit. I don't care if that Imai hits me with one of her bazookas or that stupid gun of hers, if that was the way she blames me for her husband's death then so be it. But what surprise me the most was that she comforts me and she even serves me a cup of hot chocolate! It was the worst feeling ever. I would rather get beaten to death by her than being shown compassion by someone who had killed someone's husband!

"Go and see Mikan, she's worried about you," she said.

But I hadn't. Instead, I fled away to this old farmhouse. Hiding myself away and locked all of those emotions away deep in my heart. Of guilt and remorse. It was all my fault he died. Maybe I'd have had nightmares. Some pictures in my head I couldn't get rid of. I remembered Imai told me to get a counsellor. And, yeah, maybe the counsellor would understand everything. But what about the guilt? Could anybody understand that?

I sighed and turned to back to the diary. When I turned the diary to the next page, a piece of paper had fallen out and lands to the floor. I picked it up and unfolded the piece of paper. I thought it was a part of the diary but when I read the first line, I knew the letter was actually addressed to me.

* * *

"Dear Natsume,

If you're reading this then it means that I can't make it. I'm sorry I couldn't keep our promise. We made a promise that, after all of these are over, we'll hang out at Central Town like we did during college; just two idiots minding our own business. You must be angry that I've written something like this but Natsume, I'm glad that you're always with me, standing beside me and sharing every moment of my life.

You are like a brother I never had, the best friend I could ever wish and a comrade that I'd willing to sacrifice my life for. Take care of my treasured wife and child in my place Natsume, take care of my beloved cousin and take care of yourself.

Your best friend,

Ruka Nogi."

* * *

I'm not sure if it is possible to accept this. That I could live anyway, even find happiness despite the guilt and grief that I might never quiet lay to rest? I'm not sure if I can do that.

I must have been spacing out cause I don't realised the front door was opened and Mikan was standing in front of me. Mikan...she was as beautiful as she looked the last time I saw her. "Natsume..." she said. I could even hear a hint of sympathy in her voice. I wanted her to leave me alone but at the same time, I also wanted her to be by my side always...but I know I don't deserve her. She doesn't deserve a man who had killed one of her family.

Just then, she moved closer to me and cupped her cold hands on the side of my face. "Natsume..." she said again as our gaze met. I could see the strain on her face that she too, grieved about Ruka's death. I would rather kill myself than to ever see that expression on her face again. What kind of man is it to make his loved ones to suffer?

Only the worst.

She circled her arms around my waist though I made no signs to move. I was still battling in my head whether I deserved this. To be happy like this just by her simple touch. To be with the person that I loved most. I expect her to say something. Saying that she blames me for Ruka's death. Saying that I am to blame for all of this misfortune...but I hadn't expected her to say the one word that I've been meaning to hear for weeks now.

"Come home, Natsume."

And just like that, I bent my head on her shoulder and wept.

**.The End.**

* * *

I, who loves to watch Comedy movies, have been watching Action/War movies to get inspirations to write this story. Hah! Fill me with guilt but I'm not a huge fan of Rukaru pairing. Gomenasai...but I need to paired these two in order to make the story works. Btw, I saw GA130 RAW!!!! I cried :'(

With that being said, I'll just use this small portion of this fic to express myself Lately, I've been busy with college ASSignments that I barely have time for myself. I've wrote this story on an impulse and decided to post this one on . So, if you have anything to say to me, or just want to say hi, add me up on facebook. Find the link on my profile. I'll be happy to meet someone new ;)

With lots of love and gratefulness,  
sakuraheartz/elie


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